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Marriage. She's a Tough One.

Marriage. She's a tough one. A beast really. When she's good-she's great. When she's not- damn. Eric and I have been married 18 years. Sounds crazy. I think it's a record. At least in my mind it is. And let me tell you, it's not been all sunshine and rainbows.
We really could not be more different. Lucky for Eric, I only spent the first 10 years of our lives trying to fix him.smile emoticon Because you know I had it all figured out. He was really raised in an environment where counseling was king. I was raised in an environment more along the lines of stuff it and move on. Counseling was for the weak in my mind. Little did I know my future. Strong people don't need counseling. We can work it out on our own I thought That's how I was raised. So when Eric wanted to talk about his feelings and really work through things I would get so angry. Turns out when you get married, you actually bring all of your crap-and I mean all of it -straight up into your sweet little union.... (And if you don't think you have crap, your probably reading the wrong post)....Insecurities. At their fullest.
Here we are 18 years into this gig, thinking we probably have another 40 to go. I can only imagine. And just when we figure some stuff out, we get a do over and the way our life looks changes completely.
I don't have any awesome advice about marriage. Typically we marry people because of all the awesomeness about them. Then we spend the next however many years trying to change them. Really no clue why this happens. But it does.
It's only been after some massive years of counseling and sorting out some of my random junk that I realized maybe I should just love Eric for exactly who he is.
Ground breaking.
Eric is one of the most Type A, outgoing, truth telling, biggest givers I have ever met in my life. Sometimes he is so outgoing and so comfortable sharing his thoughts with others it makes me squirm- because I'm a stuffer. But what I finally learned, and I know it's quite impressive after 18 years-That's exactly why I married him...for all of these exact things about him. He actually does not need to be me....If he was me, we would probably be living like a couple of gypsies on the High sea.
What actually happens when you marry someone totally different than you if you stick with it long enough- is you'll actually complement one another. Don't get me wrong. We share some of the exact same core beliefs- that is why it works. We are passionate about making a difference in the lives of others. That's what brought us together in the first place.
It's crazy how your rolls can shift over the years. Add in a business, two businesses, one, two, three, four, five kids, foster care ends and outs, home, families, in-laws, a life together- it's a wee bit to juggle.
So cheers to doing the hard. Marriage aint for sissies. We love, we mess up, and we get another chance tomorrow. Can you relate?
Judge less. Love more. Seems to be a theme that would be great if it would stick across the United States right about now.
Love on your partner. And remember why you started loving them in the first place.
Big Love,