Moms.... Bravest gig in the world.
As a teenager, I would never have expected to become a mom. Yuck. Kids... I don't think so. I'm off to see the world and have big hair.
Momhood was absolutely the very last thing on my mind. I had no clue what was ahead of me in 20 or so years. I've seen so many people write about being a mom. It always touches base somehow. You can never really put into words all of the highs, lows, the joys, the heartbreak, exhaustion, and the sheer moments.
It starts out all fine and good. Maybe it's pregnancy. Maybe it's adoption...Whatever the path. However our kids come to us we all have a journey. We all have thoughts in our head about motherhood. A lot of times it starts out wearing a pair of rose-colored glasses. That's probably good though.
I've never given birth, but I've been right there when one of my best friends did and there is that moment. Hard explain I'm sure. I've also been there through adoption. The waiting, the agony of wondering if your kid will ever come home. Painful. But sweet. Even with foster care some of the same stuff.
You know those moments, when you think you couldn't be happier? Couldn't be more thankful. Will never ever forget this moment. Will never ever take life for granted with this wonderful child . And then life hits. Sometimes really big time.
Those days or a series of days where maybe the kids get a bath but we don't. When we haven't shaved our legs in weeks. When we roll around town with spit up all over our clothes and don't even think twice. When we think if we have to make one more peanut butter and jelly sandwich we are going to use that knife against someone.
Then it's back to the sweet moments. Maybe it's pushing one of the kids in the swing for just a second, helping them learn to write their name. Kissing their boo-boos. Listening to them as your heart breaks while they talk about mean girls at school. Nobody can match a mom in this area. We dominate this.
Back to life happening. Stress. Work. Kids. Family. Marriage. Finances. Sometimes you feel like we could implode. Moments, days, weeks, months go by and we don't even know what happened. Sometimes we lose ourselves big time. And it takes a really long time to find ourselves again. Except when we do find ourselves we are completely different. Changed.
We're tough on ourselves. It's hard to balance everything. We cannot help but want it to look right from the outside even if on the inside it's a complete disaster kind of situation.
Even if we screw up every single day, we're still in it. We are still teaching our kids to love, and be loved. We are teaching them nobody's perfect. And that's a damn good thing. Don't underestimate that. Being authentic is one of the best gifts to give a kid.
Maybe you have taken traits from your own mother. Maybe you didn't really have a mother growing up. Either way, it's a whole new gig to learn.... And just when we get it under wraps, it completely changes.
Add another kid, challenges in marriage, or kids just getting older and problems are new and different. We know the routine.
What is we cut ourselves some slack friends. I'm learning to do that. All of the day-to-day stuff is real. Nobody gets it but you. Everyone has their own hula hoop. And it is legit. And when we feel like we've lost ourselves, we need to give ourselves some time to regroup...and get back to what makes us tick. We deserve it. I'm not sure what happens when we become moms where we lose all sense of ourselves. Maybe it is because we take on tiny human lives to handle and manage and love on and care and keep alive and well. HELLO change in priorities! A lot of it for the good.... A lot of times in the mix we totally lose our fabulous selves. We need to take a second to remember who we are. Why we are amazing. Just exactly the way we are.
And thank you. You are in the trenches. Every day. And it's expected. But it should never go unnoticed.
Much love this weekend. I hope you get just a moment alone to breathe. It might be turning up your jam even though your kids hate that music. It might be taking a bath and drinking a glass of wine with no interruptions! Bathroom door locked. Total privacy. Sounds pretty good, right?
Beautiful brave warriors.
Big Love girlfriends-